.. and you've won 50 quid. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick I suppose.
Went up to the allotment & did bugger all apart from sit in Ahmed's shed & listen to him chatter away for 2hrs. It's 'wood-burning stove' season & his shed was red hot. Honestly, he could grow pineapples in there.
Today's stories centred on his life in Pakistan as a boy & his aversion to shopping.
Apparently he hates shopping & last went to a supermarket in 1979 with his wife Maureen & vowed never to go ever again. As far as I know he's been true to his word.
As a boy he had a disabled pet chicken that couldn't walk properly. He used to hand-feed her & she lived for 12yrs. He was also addicted to raw eggs & stole a dozen a day from his mum's chicken-shed to feed his habit. Ended up at the doctor's with some sort of gastric complaint - no bloody wonder!
His younger brother is a champion pigeon-racer & so far this year he's won a motorbike, a washing machine & a horse. Quite good prizes if you ask me. If you won a pigeon race in the UK you'd probably get a manky brass cup & a Wilkos voucher. He's coming over to visit in December & I'm quite looking forward to it. You can't have too many Ahmeds!
RANDOM ITEM NO.7
A watermelon. Obviously escaped from the fruit display outside Pak-Foods. It had got quite far actually, all the way down to the Co-Op. I was in the van, otherwise I'd have picked it up.
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